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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Red Velvet Compost

We've been extra busy here, sorry for a slight lapse in posting. I have a very important post I will do post-haste, but Mr. Happy Vegan has a photo which must go with it, so it will wait another day or two.

This post started out titled quite differently, and with a rush of optimism. By the time I finished writing it, my experiment had gone from glory to epic failure. I'm taking this opportunity to edit the post as written, and just post it as is, warts and all (I hate that saying!)

Yesterday we went to Key West. I had a delivery to make, supplies to buy, and heck as long as we were there, we had a quick bite to eat. Our day trip took us to Help Yourself, a small organic restaurant on Fleming, which we are fans of. We happened to hit it just right, every Monday they have a farmer's market on site from 11a-5p. I never get down there on Mondays, but the stars aligned, and there we were. Now, you farm country folks would not consider a farm market that which we consider here in the Keys, which is a pity. There's a bit of snobbishness from farm market shoppers, meaning most are accustomed to huge areas with many actual farmers on site, selling gigantic volumes of corn from the back of a pickup, tomatoes by the bushel, homemade breads & jams, or whatever. But, you know what? They had local grown produce, albeit not by the pickup load, homemade jams, ketchups, jellies, baked goods, and even a nice guy with a machete on site to whack open a coconut so you could get fresh coconut water right out of the coconut! Betcha you don't have that at your farmer's market. I left with homemade papaya fruit ketchup, homemade spicy starfruit relish, garden grown tomatoes, local starfruit, and drum roll....US grown organic beets. I almost fell over when I saw them, and here's a picture of them here in their new home, my kitchen. Edit: No, I refuse to publish a photo of the beets. They've disgraced my kitchen. This is where the photo would've been. Too bad for the beets.

So, what's the big damn deal about beets? Look at your calendar boys & girls... its almost Valentine's Day. Don't curl your toes up and get your panties in a bunch, I'm gonna be ready for it (edit... yeah, sure, right!) if you're not, that's YOUR problem. My organic beets are going to be made into the best red velvet brownies on the planet (edit... ahahahahahahah, no they're not!). I've been obsessed with red velvet cake, cupcakes & brownies since I saw Terms of Endearment (in an actual movie theatre, um, when was that... last year? certainly it wasn't 1983!) Anyone else remember the armadillo groom's cake? Well, that's basically all I remember from that movie. Cake. Of the red velvet variety. I'd never even heard of red velvet cake before then. It made a lasting impression, here I am more than 25 years later still stalking red velvet baked goods. (Wait, you're NOT laughing at me, are you?! All because I learn important stuff through movies? Stuff about cake, and other subjects? Yeah, well, I'm not too embarrassed to admit it, even if you are. I also learned that there were pans under refrigerators "back in the day" that you had to pull out and clean, from another movie. That pan information was quite relevant at the time for a certain then-apartment-dwelling, but future Florida Keys Happy Vegan).

Being vegan, red velvet is not something that's what I would say is "common." Most red velvet cakes are made with food coloring, and what is conventional food coloring typically made with... beetles. Yuck! Over the last couple years, there's been an explosion of cupcakeries, so I'm always checking out the red velvets. Of all the places I've been, only 1 ever offered a red velvet, which was vegan. I devoured it, wow, was it good. And, you know what else? It was NOT stoplight red, like the armadillo cake in the movie. Rather it was a mellow reddish brown, kind of like the Hawaiian islands famous red dirt.

Being that I don't get organic beets very often, I couldn't help but grab enough to make red velvet brownies for guests. Admittedly, I've never made them before (edit... this is the fatal flaw). So, why am I certain my brownies will be the best ever? Because 1) they're cruelty free 2) they're organic AND fair trade and 3) I will make them with tender loving care, how can they NOT be the best ever? (edit... 1) I'm delusional 2) I'm delusional and 3) I'm delusional).

I'm practicing a small batch today, just "to be sure" they won't need any additional adjustments (edit.... adjustments? how about an extra step at the end that says "walk to compost bucket") I've poured over about a dozen recipes, including my own basic brownie recipe, to figure what's what to red velvetize a brownie. I think I've got it down, so I've taken the plunge, the beets are steaming as I type, then off to puree them, and mix up the batter. (edit..... I did all that, including the walk of shame to the compost barrel).

So sad, you didn't book your Valentine's Day here at Deer Run. For the lucky ones who are booked in, red velvets all around (edit.... eeks, pressure! Maybe back to red velvet cupcakes after all!). Heck, I might even save one for my own valentine (edit.... he sure hopes not!)

Edit.... Back to the red velvet drawing board.

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