Monday, March 25, 2013

The Price of Love

Peri is gone.


This is not a walkabout, I can feel it, we all can feel it.

Peri is as much a part of this place as the air we breathe.

I can't write too much right now, it's just too hard. He's gone walkabout in the past, this you know. He always returned in a few short days. This time, no.

There has been a shift in the energy here, we felt it almost as soon as he was gone. If you don't believe in that sort of thing, that is your choice, but for us and others who know him, there is no denying it. This is not limited to just human observations... Peri's furry siblings have been the biggest bellwethers, and honestly that is what scares me the most. While I never want to give up hope, there are some things that seem undeniable. Animals vibrate on a different level. We are listening here, the message is there, despite our cries of denial and our refusal to give up hope.

It's funny how people come and go in our lives, same with animals. We never really know when our time is here done. If we ever knew it was the last hello or the last goodbye, would we do anything different, or not? Would our mind allow us the ability to really let them go anyway?

There are stories that are true about animals who disappear for a long time, and then simply reappear. Will I ever stop hoping that here, no of course not. Will his people parents, us here, and everyone else who loves him stop calling or stop looking, no of course not. When hope is lost, everything is lost.

Everywhere I look I see Peri. There is not a speck of Deer Run that he has not investigated and made his own. Everywhere, absolutely everywhere. I see him.

Peri is as important to me as anyone in my life I've ever been close to and loved. I haven't felt this much pain since I lost my father, it is that traumatic. Days go by, work goes on. We put our best face forward because that's what we're supposed to do, I guess.

Tears in the shower aren't really tears, they're just more water.

The price of love is pain, incredible pain. Somehow we love anyway.

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