Friday, February 24, 2012

Feline Mayhem

That which goes on behind closed doors is never really known, unless you're behind the closed door.  Here, at face value things seem status quo.  Behind closed doors, there has been some serious mayhem of the feline variety for 2 solid days.  Normally I would chalk this up to "cats will be cats," but things have spiraled so far, so fast, for the last 2 days this no longer falls into the "normal" category, whatever normal is anyway.

Some things are unspeakable, so I shall let sleeping cats lie.  But a few things, I can share.  I can share that Pink Moon tore across the bed this morning before dawn, using my face as a secondary launching pad resulting in puncture wounds in places that bleed a lot. I can share that Luciana Luna Bean has not taken kindly to Peri hanging out on my private entrance steps, resulting in some of that unspeakable behavior which has resulted in her banishment to the bedroom for an entire day.... who knows how I'll feel about her return to social life tomorrow, so far its not looking good.

I cannot even share the two bad deeds Agatha Rain is responsible for, no, I cannot share them.  Suffice to say she is catona-non-grata around me and I see no end in sight for that either.

Even Peri is on the outs with me.  As I was driving down the street on Thursday night to go to boot camp, I saw a small gray figure slinking down Long Beach, far from my home... yes, it was Peri, away from home, far from his usual territory.  I screeched to a halt, catnapped him, turned the car right around and drove him home, duly informing him "don't do that again."

And, Lemon Blue Verbena, my "very bad animal" who typically is Mr. Evil, Mr. Pussface, Mr. Bad.... he's been an angel.  Sleeping all curled up next to me, minding his manners through the day.  Being sweeter than (vegan) sugar, and giving me plenty of kitty kisses.  Go figure.

I spent about 6 hours today in my kitchen baking, packaging and filling orders.  I'm on the edge right now, holding on for dear life. We're both so busy with so many obligations that eat away at our time, I suppose this is par for this time of year. Through all this, the cats are getting to me for real. I took it out on Mr. Happy Vegan today when he snitched a lemon poppy seed cookie off the cooling rack, which he swore up and down was a pumpkin chocolate chip cookie (it wasn't, trust me I know, when I'm filling orders, counting is a major priority while scooping dough).  I tried as best as I could muster to explain he should not argue with a baker who's been up since pre-dawn hours thanks to feline mayhem.  He seemed unconvinced.

This barely scratches the surface, because as I said there's mayhem involved, and plenty of it.  I am wondering what other new unspeakable acts these cats will bring forth into my day when tomorrow arrives. I can honestly say I'm not looking forward to discovering their daily evidence, or continuing to be victimized by ill placed claws in the dark.  Two puncture wounds and several unfortunately placed scratches are likely not the end of their list, not by a long shot.

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