Barely Treading Water

So, you know I got "off the rock" (out of town to those of you who don't know Key's lingo) for a while.  It was not for vacation though.  I had something I needed to accomplish, and so I did.  My travels took me away from here, off my tiny island, and off to an area where there's copious amounts of people, construction, hustle, bustle and cooler weather.

I was transported to another world, one I used to be immersed in, but left behind long ago.

Out of my comfort zone.  Out of my weather zone.  Out of my friend zone.  Out of my element to say the least.

In my goal setting, I make it a point to place myself squarely out of my comfort zone at least once a year.  That might not sound like much, but to me it's a lot.  And, its a LEAST once a year.  Going to a city, alone, fits the "out of my comfort zone" bill.

I never really adjusted to being away from home.  I couldn't sleep (already an issue for me, but throw even a small time change in, and chaos reigns supreme), didn't have good dining options close enough (although Whole Foods saved me once discovered!), and the driving into and out of the city left much to be desired.  On one trip downtown as I was musing how perhaps it wasn't such a bad place to drive after all, I found myself stopped at a 5 point red-light intersection in the middle of the intersection.  The red light for my lane should have been disabled due to construction, but it was not.  I did not see that there was another red light BEFORE that 2nd light... where I should have stopped.  So, island girl stopped in the middle of the intersection oblivious at first to the fact that I was stopped in the middle of an intersection.  Construction was everywhere. Cars were everywhere. There was no where for me to go, besides no one would let me go. I realized the error of my ways when I heard nothing but horn, looked in my rear view mirror and saw the largest law enforcement SUV ever to hit the streets.  No offense to that particular officer, but instead of perhaps helping the situation by guiding me out of rush hour red-light chaos, he chose to lean on his horn non-stop waiting for me to move (to where, I have no idea) and then rev his engine and peel tires careening around me as he sped off.  No lights, no siren, no emergency.  Just he was pissed off at me for being a damn fool.  I was pissed off at me too, but didn't really expect to see what I did from law enforcement.  Thankfully I do feel that person was the minority in a sea of good in that profession.

It crystallized in that moment of fear sitting in the middle of a 5 point red-light intersection that I am an island girl now.  These thoughts usually come only at the holiday season when we visit our family in the cold zone.  It was 38 degrees one morning where I was, home it was 88 for that day's high. 

I tried to be friendly, I said hello to people, held open doors for whoever I saw.  No one said thank you.  No one said hello back.  I went out to eat alone and not once did any wait staff attempt to engage me in any extra curricular dialogue. None.  Perfunctory service is what I would say I experienced on all my solo dining experiences on this trip.  Not friendly.  The places could have done better on that end of things.

I treaded water for almost every second I was away.  I had one day of fun, attending a vegan festival.  A friend of ours arranged for a car service to take me downtown, and I decided to splurge and take the car service back at the end of the event.  No driving.  No trains.  No buses.  That day was pretty darn nice. The drivers were kind, and offered pretty lively conversation on everything from baseball, to food, to boating and more. That car service was worth every penny spent.

I was exposed to more construction that I ever remember any place I've ever lived or visited, more stores than I wish I knew existed, more traffic than I've seen since driving in New York, and more stress than I've known in years.  I didn't like it.

I'm home.  I've accomplished what I went away to do and for that I'm happy.  Beyond happy, actually I'm ecstatic.  But, when I pulled into my own driveway, saw my animals, the deer, the sand and the sea I could finally breathe again.

And, with that moment there was another revelation.... the reason the people are so unhappy is because there is no salt air, no palm trees and no ocean.  And, with that realization, I forgave them all. They just can't help themselves, and I can't blame them.

To the city folks out there, I promise not to invade your territory again for a LONG time. But, island girl hopes that maybe you'll leave the asphalt jungle for a few days, find an island to visit (Big Pine perhaps?!) and remember that life is indeed short, too short not to be kind along the way. You just never know when you're crossing paths with a neurotic, anxiety filled, transplanted island girl who's having a particularly difficult go of it in your beloved city. And, you also never know when that island girl might be inclined to slide a (vegan! organic!) cupcake or two your way as gratitude for your kindness.