True Story

Myself and the other happy vegan here were driving on Big Pine today for errands. Being that it was a gorgeous Friday (lucky Friday the 13th) afternoon on the heels of a rainy week, traffic was pretty heavy. We were sitting at the 1 and only traffic light on the island waiting in a chain of cars to turn on US1. As we're sitting in traffic, I happened to catch a glimpse of something moving near the bike path. Upon closer inspection I saw that it was a VERY large land crab. He was walking off the grassy area into the shoulder of the road, and heading for the traffic intersection. Cars were whizzing by every which way. The lane to my right had cars coming up for right hand turns. The cars on US1 were making frequent left turns... which is the direction Mr. Crabby was heading. I scrambled in the car looking for a shovel (I used to carry a shovel all the time when I lived in the cold zone, mostly for snow, but heck you never know when else you'll need a shovel....) It doesn't snow here, I guess that was a reflex reaction. I didn't have a shovel to help Mr. Crabby cross the road. I had a Dixie cup, that's it. I grabbed the cup which was about the size of a thimble compared to my soon to be heaven-bound friend, and dashed into traffic. Cars are still seriously everywhere, stopped, turning, driving straight through. I had about less than 20 seconds before the light would turn green and our lane would begin moving. I ran to the first car in line, hit the pavement, and saw Mr. Crabby sitting under the car. There was absolutely nothing I could do. Nothing. Cars were still whizzing by, and now I'm lying on the asphalt. I ran back to my car; within seconds the light turned green.

We began to move with traffic. Both of us in the car were upset, convinced Mr. Crabby was going to be pancake crabby in seconds. As the traffic began to move, Mr. Crabby dashed out from the first car in line and began running to the other size of the road to finish his adventure. As we were completing our turn onto US1, I turned around to get a final glimpse of Mr. Crabby hoping to see that he really did make it across. Not only did he make it across, as I was watching, I saw Mr. Crabby raise his claw and flip off the row of cars. I swear, this is a true story. Mr. Vegan saw it too. This "signal" is something I don't think I've seen since I moved down here. It took the animal kingdom to remind me about this driving tool, crucial if you live in, or near, any city, parkway, turnpike, thruway, or other idiot-prone driving area. Obviously, Mr. Crabby feels the same way about US1.

Hooray for Mr. Crabby. I love the Florida Keys.