I'm still here

Hi. Remember me? Agatha Rain? Aggie? I'm still here. Mommy hasn't written about me lately, she's working to give me peace & quiet. I'm still having a hard time integrating with my adopted brother & sisters. I'm not sure why, but everyone hates me. I get picked on terribly. I have a "safe space" all to myself, the others are not welcome in there. I do have free roam of the house whenever I want, and believe me, I tell mom & dad what I want, when I want it. I'm not shy that way.

I've been working on trust issues. I have abandonment issues because my old family left me alone, locked up with no food or water, and I stayed that way for too long. But, its been really great here at my new home, I do feel loved. I play with toys, sit in the sunshine, snuggle on a warm lap, and love sitting on pillows (see?!) I also love to eat. Eating is my favorite thing. In fact, mom was told I eat too much now. She measures my food. I started to get fat here! I guess that happens at a great B&B, haha & meow to that.

I had some illness issues, and was tested for lots of things. I had a scare of a very serious disease, but hooray I don't have anything bad, in fact, no one can find a reason for some of the odd things I do. Personally, I don't think anything I do is odd. I prefer the words "quirky" and "special." I will eat anything. Seriously, anything. Mommy found me trying to eat a metal screw one day. I eat anything that falls on the floor, but never tofu. Mom said of all things to be so picky on... tofu? At a vegan inn no less. Meow.

When I get picked on by "the others," I have big problems. I get very scared, VERY SCARED. I have some stuff that happens, I can't control it, I get embarrassed, but both mommy & daddy rescue me, clean me up, cover me with kisses, and get me to my safe space. I feel better right away, start a long bath, and then an even longer nap.

I love to sit in my "trash can" when mommy works on the computer. Its right by her feet. I curl up all cozy and purr. I also love to sit on mommy's chair and I'll sneak over onto her lap as she works. Real slowly I work my way from the back of the chair to her lap, in stages, so she won't notice what I'm doing. I like to just "appear." Mommy says I have some of the softest feet she's ever had the privilege to touch. I like that! Makes me feel special! Meow!

I really wish the rest of my furry family would start to love me. They all bundle up together on the bed, and I'm on a corner by myself when that happens. I'm lonely, and it makes me feel sad. Mommy or daddy usually picks me up and puts me on a pillow by them (remember, I love pillows!) when that happens. It makes me feel a little better. I've been here a few months, but mommy told me she's been through times in the past with other furry family where its taken a year for everyone to start to coexist. A year. Hm, what's a year? I don't really understand, but as long as there's treats, warm laps, sunny patches and soft words, I think a year must be something good.

My mommy says I get more beautiful every day. That makes be happy. She made up a song for me, everyone here has their own, so maybe after all I really AM permanent. Trust. Its so fragile. Once a heart has been broken, its never the same. Mommy understands.

I know I can't talk, but mommy says I don't have to, she understands so much about me already. She's doing a good job, so is daddy. My surprise arrival caused a lot of unexpected turmoil, but eventually things will calm down. It will take time, a lot of time, and work. They tell me we're all in this together for the long haul. That's good, because I sure do like that they have so many pillows around here. And kisses. Meow Meow!