Things really don't always turn out as planned, do they? I often call to mind the saying "we make plans, the Universe laughs." I planned on posting tonight about the powerboat races, where we spent the better part of our day. I took about 500 photos, and hope for 2 good ones. I was about to review my photos, when I clicked on a photo album which looked unfamiliar to me. Instantly, up popped a photo of our recently departed friend, Sue. How odd the timing. So, now this post is not about powerboats. It's about Sue.
Yesterday we went to a memorial to celebrate Sue's life, and I guess to say good bye in our own way. Although some time has passed since we've lost her, it really hasn't been long at all. After the service, there was a gathering with food, and lots of stories about Sue. Almost everyone I would chat with, my question would be "how did you meet Sue?" So, sure, she's been on my mind. I was thinking that actually for me, the passing of time makes things like this worse. Perhaps time does heal to an extent, but it always amplifies, at least for me. Why? Because there are some people who even if I don't see often, there would be certain times, seasons or events when without fail I would see them, or be with them. It was like that, for me, with Sue. I opened the local paper today, and saw the Key West Garden Club fall show is coming up very soon; this was a trigger for me. Without fail, I would call Sue about the show every year, spring & fall. "Hi Sue, its Jen, how are you?" "Oh, I'm fine honey, how y'all doin' out there at Deer Run?" "We're fine. Listen, Sue, the flower sale is next week, would you like to go together?" My first year here, the call actually came from Sue to me. I'd never been, didn't even know it existed actually. It was one of those seemingly benign events that changes your life. Common ground.
So, there it is. I want to go to the garden club sale with Sue, but I cannot. Sitting through a memorial service surrounded by people who mourn Sue's passing began to make her loss more real to me, but today, the garden club event was like a hammer came down. Now tonight, I randomly pick a photo library that I never recall seeing on my computer, I swear I have never before seen these photos, and there she is, 1st photo that pops up. She is standing in her kitchen (here at Deer Run), wearing a very pretty flowing long island style gown. Her hair isn't as short has she had taken to wearing it lately, and she's smiling. Its very obvious this photo was taken when the kitchen was hers, not yet mine, because it is full of her beautiful art collection. There's about 4 other pictures, all taken the same day, she's in a few, she's not in the others. Its so strange looking at these photos. I stared for quite a while just at the objects in the background. Sue appreciated beautiful things, and had a penchant for art. Her walls here were full top to bottom with art. Looking through the photos brought back a flood of memories. I even stared at all the clutter on her refrigerator, and couldn't help but laugh. Among her own photos and mementos tacked to the fridge, was a large sticker "if things get better with age, I'm approaching magnificent." Funny.
I will go to the garden club sale. Without Sue. It won't be the same. I may even cry. But, I think I will purchase a native plant which will attract butterflies, or maybe a tree that bears fruit for local birds. Then the other happy vegan and myself, well, we'll come back here, carry it towards the beach and look for a spot somewhere near the side dune where there's a final resting place for some of her own beloved companion animals, plus stray & wild animals that she tended but didn't make it. After we plant the new addition, I am going to paint and decorate a special sign and dedicate it to Sue. Out on the beach. Between a dune and the ocean. Near a chair. Where Sue often sat during bonfires, after gentle rains or terrible storms; during sunsets, sunrises, beautiful days, and starry nights.
I really miss Sue.
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